♪ Ah suck a headphone ♪
♪ We got a time bomb ♪
♪ We got a warning light ♪
♪ We pull the plug out and we ♪
♪ Time bomb ticking ♪
♪ There's a time bomb ticking ♪
♪ Going tick, tick, tick, tick ♪
♪ Time bomb ticking ♪
♪ There's a time bomb ticking ♪
♪ Going ♪
♪ We got a time bomb ♪
♪ Tick, tick, tick, tick ♪
♪ Na na-na na ♪
♪ We got a red alert ♪
♪ We cut the power and we ♪
♪ Na na-na na ♪
♪ We're going sideways, highways ♪
♪ Riding on an elevator ♪
♪ Cold just like an alligator ♪
♪ Now my baby's out of data ♪
♪ Fighting and lightning ♪
♪ And tightening above the buckles ♪
♪ Of an atom bomb's time bomb's ticking ♪
♪ Tick, tick, tick ♪
♪ Bomb, bomb, bomb ba-da-da ♪
♪ We got a time bomb ♪
♪ Na na-na na ♪
♪ We got a red alert ♪
♪ We pull the plug out and we ♪
Ah!
All right.
Okay, buddy. I'll pick you up after school.
Okay.
I love you.
Okay.
You've got this.
Okay, so...
I will be here tomorrow.
We'll go over everything before the meeting with the lawyers.
You don't have to keep...
And you don't have to keep saying I don't have to.
All right. It's just that...
Look, I don't know what I would do without you.
So, thank you.
Well, we'll have to find out.
- Can I do the honors? - Gosh, all right. Do it.
This time tomorrow.
- Oh, where are you going with those? - Come on.
- You don't actually eat these, do you? - I like the fortunes.
Don't you?
Gosh, you're not one of those astrology types, are you?
Yes, and I don't feel shame about it just because you're not.
- As a total Virgo, by the way. - All right.
Okay.
So we have this tradition in my family, we pass to the left.
- Okay? - It's just the two of us, there's no left.
Okay. Oh.
Ha. Sorry, I've got this...
this weird thing about fortunes.
Yeah, my wife, um...
she gave me one the day we first met,
and it was our thing.
You know?
We kept it,
and then one day when she was in the hospital,
she got the same fortune.
We thought it was a sign, you know?
That things were going to work out.
With her, with the cancer, with us.
So I'm supposed to be positive, right?
I didn't realize that they weren't always positive
and that they could be read two different ways.
Well, what'd it say?
"Your luck is about to change."
And it did.
She was dead within a month.
I'm...
- I'm sorry. You don't have to open that. - No, I'm sorry.
- Um, no. - Please don't open that.
If only you had not put me in a position where I absolutely have to open it.
Not only that, I think it's going to predict
how the conference is going to go tomorrow and...
No, here. This is...
- Uh-oh. - Ah.
Too late.
Okay.
It's blank. So of course that would happen.
Of course that would happen.
Oh, my God.
You really are into woo-woo shit, aren't you?
Well, do you want to know what mine says?
Uh, no, I don't want to know...
"A friend of yours is about to get good news."
That has no way to be interpreted two ways.
You are lying! And badly too!
You are going to lose your license for that.
Total Libra.
My gosh, I'm going to call the board of social work
and tell them that you...
I am really great with my clients and I make them feel safe and supported.
But see, I'm not a client of yours anymore, remember?
Oh, I remember.
Oh.
Oh, it's work.
Maybe it's good news.
- I'll see you tomorrow. - All right, take care.
Thank you.
Hey, Marisa, is everything okay?
It's kind of late and...
What?
♪ What a wonderful holiday ♪
♪ With bells on every sleigh ♪
♪ And voices full of happiness ♪
Mm, Saturday.
The only day that is free of total panic.
- Hi. - Hi.
Are you ready?
And scene.
It couldn't wait till at least we got some coffee?
I've already had coffee.
Let's do this.
Are you counting getting into the UCLA program as a pro or a con?
Uh, both.
Pro,
because I haven't come up with anything new since my book died,
so maybe it's a good place for me to be until I figure out what's next.
Or it could just be what's next,
since not a lot of people go to grad school to hide out.
Con,
I could be going to grad school to hide out.
I don't know what I want.
I know, that's why you made us make these lists.
Which I agreed to
because we were drunk.
Drunk plans are the worst.
Okay, con,
committing to the next two years of my life right now.
You could always drop out.
Why would I even go to grad school if I know I'm going to drop out?
- That doesn't make any sense. - I know. I'm just saying, isn't it nice
to have, like, a plan and a purpose for the next two years?
Wouldn't that be a pro?
Is that what you wrote?
No, I mean, a job in fundraising is like...
Wait, that's a salary job.
Yeah, but it's, you know...
It's not the same kind of commitment that grad school is.
Silverlake Conservatory of Music is a great non-profit,
and there's not a lot of cons.
It would, um...
make use of my actual talent, that's good.
It would get me out of restaurant work,
get me great benefits,
but it would also lock me into a pretty strict nine-to-six,
and it wouldn't give me a lot of time to do my stuff. Yeah.
- Thank you. - But, other pros:
working for a friend.
That's good.
Um...
I could give piano lessons on the side, make a little extra cash,
and it could help us get a better place than the ones we've been looking at,
like that converted garage that has carpeted ceilings,
designed for, I don't know, arterial spray?
Okay, or we could just stay here.
I mean, we basically live here by ourselves anyways.
When was the last name Dante was even home?
Urgh, God, the time his friend was trying to hide out.
- Who? Arthur? - Yeah.
Yeah, a little sketchy.
But if we move out, doesn't that mean that D has to move out too?
'Cause he can't afford this rent by himself.
So then he moves home for a bit.
I mean, he's been staying there a lot mostly anyway.
And maybe we should think about what we want to do
instead of what he wants to do.
I'm still working on that.
Well...
we're seeing eight places today.
Okay.
- We've got a Glassell Park tree house, - Mm.
a one-bedroom in a former animal hospital in Atwater.
Mm.
I thought we said we couldn't afford the Echo Park bungalow.
I know, we can't, but we should see it anyway.
Why?
Something to aim for?
Shared dream?
- Shared dream. - Mm-hm.
Okay.
Why did you make us come here?
I know.
- I feel it too. - There's even a real piano.
It's on the porch like savages, but still.
Oh, that isn't staying.
The movers couldn't fit it this morning, they're coming back for it.
It's got wheels. We can make a break for it down the hill.
I mean, there's two rooms: one for us, and then one could be a studio.
You could play and I could draw. It's perfect.
Or we could use one
for all the collection notices the IRS are going to send to us
because we can't afford to rent this place.
I think we should put in an application, offer less, and write a personal letter.
Babe, look around, okay?
Everyone here owns sunglasses they didn't buy at the drug store.
Personal letter won't work,
unless it's from our agent, saying our sitcom went into syndication.
I mean, I could ask my mom.
Yeah, okay.
So no amount of money we ever make can ever repay that favor.
I could take that job.
I could ask my mom.
But then you'd have to tell her you're going to grad school.
Yeah.
It's no big deal, right? It's like, only everything we've ever wanted.
Right?
I think we just put in an application for it.
We're not going to get it, so it doesn't even matter anyway.
But just, right now just kiss me, 'cause I think the realtor likes us.
- I'll call you when I'm done with my dad. - Okay.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
So what's Polly's place like?
I don't know. Like her.
So like...
dream catchers and wind chimes
and soaps that look like rocks in the bathroom and...
culturally inappropriate souvenirs, or is that...?
That's charming. Uh, no.
Warm, confident.
Non-judgmental.
I think I'm going to go to grad school.
Oh?
Wow, did you get that passive-aggressive "oh" from Mom,
or did she get it from you,
or is that something you guys just a created together, or...?
It's just a sound my mouth makes while I'm formulating a real response.
So what do you think?
I thought you wanted more, honey.
I thought you wanted a big life.
I have a big life!
You're 26 years old.
You've never lived outside a 20-mile radius
from your parents.
Where I live geographically determines whether...
I just don't want you to feel like you have to settle for anything.
I don't. I think that people have to make choices
and I think I can't have everything.
You're supposed to try, at least.
Right?
Are you going somewhere?
Oh, no. It's my new one.
I had to surrender the other one at sentencing.
Hello.
I've got Rebecca Sherman for Eleanor O'Brien.
Oh, okay.
- Please hold. - Dad.
I'll connect you.
Eleanor, how are you?
- I think I've got something for you. - Hi.
I'm...
Have you ever heard of Lily Leeman?
Yes, the author of the children's books about the nanny?
Au pair.
Lily died years ago. The daughter does the series now.
Mary, the illustrator, is still alive,
but in her late 90s, ill health.
They're looking for a ghost illustrator, essentially,
someone to work under Mary's name.
Now, most people say no.
It's a flat fee, work-for-hire situation,
you can't even tell anybody that you did it.
Oh, and it's in Connecticut.
That's where Adelaide lives, the daughter.
She has a guest house, but I have to warn you,
she's... unique.
That's also why people say no.
- That's... - Can you let me know by the end of today?
I'd need you to do some sample drawings for me in the Cornelia style.
Okay. Yeah, no, I can do that.
Great. Uh, I'm in Chicago now,
so get them to me by five o'clock your time,
that's EOD my time.
Okay, great.
I will get on it right now.
Thank you.
That's...
You want to tell me what happened?
Ooh.
Are you okay?
Uh, yeah.
I don't know.
What if you are right?
- Yes, what if? - What if you are right?
- What if you're right? - What happened?
I have to go.
But I'll call you later. I love you.
Okay.
Fuck.
Hello.
You won't believe this.
We got the house.
- Um... - The Echo Park house, we got it.
For 250 less than what they were asking for.
It turns out one of the owners used to be a music teacher.
When he read my email,
he threw in the piano for free!
So we got it! I called Kehinde.
I was like, "I'm taking the conservatory job. It's happening!"
Where are you? We have to celebrate!
Why don't you sound excited?
♪ You may find yourself ♪
♪ Living in a shotgun shack ♪
♪ And you may find yourself ♪
♪ In another part of the world ♪
♪ And you may find yourself ♪
♪ Behind the wheel of a large automobile ♪
♪ And you may find yourself In a beautiful house ♪
♪ With a beautiful wife ♪
♪ And you may ask yourself ♪
♪ Well ♪
♪ How did I get here? ♪
♪ I can't seem to face up to the facts ♪
♪ I'm tense and nervous And I can't relax ♪
♪ I can't sleep 'cause my bed's on fire ♪
♪ Don't touch me, I'm a real live wire ♪
♪ Psycho killer ♪
♪ Qu'est-ce que c'est ♪
♪ Fa-fa fa-fa-fa ♪
♪ Far better ♪
♪ Run, run, run, run, run, away ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ And you may ask yourself ♪
♪ How do I work this? ♪
♪ And you may ask yourself ♪
♪ Where is that large automobile? ♪
♪ And you may tell yourself ♪
♪ This is not my beautiful house ♪
♪ And you may tell yourself ♪
♪ This is not my beautiful wife ♪
♪ Psycho killer ♪
♪ Qu'est-ce que c'est ♪
♪ Fa-fa-fa fa fa ♪
♪ Far better ♪
♪ Run, run, run, run, run, away ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ You start a conversation You can't even finish it ♪
♪ You're talking a lot But you're not saying anything ♪
♪ When I have nothing to say My lips are sealed ♪
♪ Say something once Why say it again? ♪
♪ - Letting the days go by - Psycho killer ♪
♪ Let the water hold me down ♪
♪ - Letting the days go by - Psycho killer ♪
♪ Water flowing underground ♪
♪ - Into the blue again - Psycho killer ♪
♪ Into the silent water ♪
♪ - Under the rocks and stones - Psycho killer ♪
♪ There is water underground ♪
♪ - Letting the days go by - Psycho killer ♪
♪ Let the water hold me down ♪
♪ - Letting the days go by - Psycho killer ♪
♪ Water flowing underground ♪
♪ - Into the blue again - Psycho killer ♪
♪ After the money's gone ♪
♪ - Once in a lifetime - Psycho killer ♪
♪ - Water flowing underground - Qu'est-ce que c'est ♪
♪ - Same as it ever was - Psycho killer ♪
♪ Same as it ever was ♪
♪ Same as it ever was... ♪
Pregnant.
Again.
Yeah.
Apparently, getting an abortion restarts your cycle.
I don't know.
Do you want to take your hands away from your face?
What? My hands are on my face?
So what do you want to do?
Not for me, not for us,
but for you.
I'll go to grad school.
And we'll have a baby.
And we'll get the house of our dreams.
Then we can have everything.
Parenting classes?
Uh, 12 plus a letter from my teacher.
Pay stubs?
I got 12 of them, with a letter from my boss
saying that I am an exemplary employee.
Though it turns out we've got different stances on spaces after periods.
- Once space. - It's two spaces.
So this is over between us.
Well, you know, I'm just going to have to, uh...
I'm just going to have to convert you later.
Ah. Did you not sleep?
Sorry, no, I was, you know, up doing work for work
so I could take today off,
and I was up late, polishing this statement.
What do you think?
I came here way too early.
I should have let you sleep.
No, look, I never would have anyways.
I was always like this.
Even as a kid, I would always, you know, stay up late
for a concert or a recital.
Or the night before my wedding.
The nights, 'cause I was up for six nights straight
wondering if she would show.
Wondering if...
someone would stand up in protest.
That doesn't happen.
Okay, I have to hear that story.
Yeah, well...
someday I'll tell you.
I almost forgot.
I brought you something...
- that I think suits you. - Uh.
"There is no such thing as luck."
Okay, this is really nice, but, um...
you know, this could be read two different ways as well.
Exactly, and isn't that what's interesting?
When I first came here,
you told me that all songs were love songs,
different types of love.
There's never one way of looking at something.
You know what?
I never looked at it that way.
Exactly.
I've got something for you as well.
This.
Because without you,
I would never have made it here, so...
Well, Dominic is going to be here in a couple hours,
- so maybe you should get ready, - Right.
- and I will review the letter. - Alright.
♪ Six in the morning ♪
♪ Can I hold you? ♪
♪ Are we done talking? ♪
♪ Do we have to? ♪
♪ I've been thinking ♪
♪ We were over ♪
♪ I've been thinking ♪
♪ Got to know for sure ♪
♪ I've been thinking ♪
♪ We were over ♪
♪ I've been thinking ♪
♪ Got to know for sure ♪
♪ I've been thinking ♪
♪ We were over ♪
♪ I've been thinking ♪
♪ Got to know for sure ♪
♪ I've been thinking ♪
♪ We were over ♪
♪ I've been thinking ♪
♪ Got to know for sure ♪
♪ Now I know what you wanted ♪
♪ But it's too late ♪
♪ Hey, hey, ah ♪
♪ Trying to bring the color of loving ♪
♪ But it won't take ♪
♪ Hey, hey ♪
♪ I've been thinking ♪
♪ We were over ♪
♪ I've been thinking ♪
♪ Got to know for sure ♪
♪ I've been thinking ♪
♪ We were over ♪
♪ I've been thinking ♪
♪ Got to know for sure ♪
♪ I've been thinking ♪
♪ We were over ♪
♪ I've been thinking ♪
♪ Got to know for sure ♪
♪ I've been thinking ♪
♪ We were over ♪
♪ I've been thinking ♪
♪ Got to know for sure ♪
♪ I've been thinking ♪
♪ We were over ♪
♪ Ba da da da, ba da da da ♪
♪ Oh ♪
Is it okay?
- Yeah. - Does it need anything else?
- No, it's done. - All right, cool.
That's how you dress now, huh?
That new job fancy?
The settlement conference is in a few hours, so...
Oh, shit.
You ready?
Oh, yeah.
Sit in a room,
listen to a bunch of people tell me why I can or cannot be my son's dad,
try not to hit anyone.
You're just on parole.
Like I was.
You sit in that room,
you show people you are his dad,
and get back to your life.
I thought you were getting out today.
The cops came by...
asking who jumped me.
If I tell them, then that would be...
admitting that I'm in a crew.
And I could go back in.
It don't matter I'm the victim. It's...
a violation of my supervision.
Maybe I wasn't ready.
D, look.
Maybe I should...
Maybe I should still be in.
That's what those guys meant when they said that...
they're better off inside and not here 'cause they...
- they know they ain't ready. - No, that's not true.
Well, if I was ready,
I would've turned away from my crew day one.
And I would've figured out a way to let go of Dee without...
without thinking that I had to write to her.
And that I wouldn't care so much what people think about me.
I just... You know, I just would have cared more
about what I think about myself.
Yeah, but who can do that?
You can.
You're Sam.
You get the things that we don't get.
A house in the suburbs...
with the girl of your dreams.
I end up...
with none of that.
No, you don't...
You ain't ended up yet, primo.
You can't go two directions at once.
You have to choose.
And Barry is the most important thing in my world.
Your son needs you to live your dreams.
How's he going to expect his to come true?
How am I going to expect mine?
You get my nephew back.
And you keep him dreaming.
Maybe tell him that his daddy is going to be a famous person one day.
You tell him that yourself, okay?
Yeah, I'll do... I'll do that.
I'll do that.
I got to go meet my lawyer.
I'll come by tonight.
all right.
You've met all the demands of Children and Family Services.
You've attended parenting classes, you're going to therapy,
you've never missed a visit with Barry.
You are giving DCFS no reason to question your parental rights.
Okay, so what happens this afternoon?
We'll be in the conference room. You, me, your mother-in-law,
the supervisor, DCFS lawyers.
You've done your part,
now it's time to do mine.
I'll create a narrative that makes it clear
that you and not your mother-in-law are the best option.
You don't have to create narrative because that's the truth.
- Sam... - It's okay.
I get it. It's just a term we use.
All it means is I show them how you've made substantial changes
in the way you will raise your son.
The biggest being that your cousin is gone.
He's not gone.
He's moving back in with us.
Dante moving out is a big part of Sam getting Barry back.
It shows that his greatest danger is handled.
It's being handled by me.
I'm going to take care of my son at home.
The LAPD is investigating Dante's attack as a gang-related crime.
His affiliation is well documented.
In their mind, he's not just a guy who messed up once,
he's a repeat offender.
He did nothing wrong.
Not then and not now.
He's coming back home.
We can get the manager to change the locks.
If only approved caregivers have keys, maybe.
It's not ideal, but it could work.
- Or... - Or?
There's an or?
Margot.
She got a job.
- How do you know that? - Stella was told about it.
I was going to talk to you about this later, but here you go.
Take a look at that.
She's been offered an HBO miniseries.
She hasn't accepted it yet.
She can't tell DCFS she wants Barry
and then consider a job she knows she can't take.
Will it help if we force Margot to choose between Barry and work?
It's not bad.
Let me call and get this verified on my end.
I'll see you at DCFS at 4:00.
I thought you'd be more excited about this.
Uh, yeah, there's something that I...
I didn't tell you about,
which I was waiting to tell you until today, but...
if you know about Margot, then she probably knows about me too.
Knows what about you?
The phone call yesterday, right?
It was Marisa, the A&R rep at my label who I played the songs for,
she got me the job.
I know who Marisa is, yeah.
Right, yeah, so she's on Santigold's team.
Santigold is a, uh...
I know Santigold.
Now I know how little you know about me.
No, I'm sorry.
So they played my songs for her and she liked it.
What?
Yeah, well, pending the meeting going well,
she wants me to write on her new album,
but she's going on tour for the next year, so I'd have to go on tour with her.
Okay, just take a minute to feel what you just said to me.
An artist you love wants to work with you. Feel that.
But I can't very well tell Margot that she can't take a job out of town
and then be like, "Well, I can."
You can't. Whoever wins Barry today can't leave the state.
But whatever happens, that will be decided for you,
for both of you.
My God, I would turn down that job in like, two seconds
if I knew it was going to bring me back to him.
God, I just...
I just want to fall asleep to him snoring.
You know?
I just want to trip over his shoes.
Wonder if we have enough milk.
Worry about if he's learning enough in school
other than how to find the Snorlax.
Hey, um...
you're going to be there later, right?
Yeah, I'll be in my office. Yeah.
No, um...
I mean, you're going to be there...
for me?
I'm always here for you.
Hello, Sam, Annette.
- Dad! - Hey, what up, kiddo!
- Wee! - Oh, gosh!
What on earth is going on with your hair?
We need to make sure Grandma has everything she needs.
Grandma has it under control.
I was going to take him to get his haircut now, actually.
Really? Where?
- Someplace good. - Someplace black?
It's under control.
- Stop arguing. - We're not arguing.
- When can I go home? - I don't know.
Let's all move inside, shall we?
Can I just get one more minute with my...
Ow. Barry, did you just bite me?
- No. - Barry?
- That hurt. - I want to go home!
I want to go home now!
Maybe you can.
No, I want to go home! Not with you! I want to go home!
- We're ready. - Hey, Barry, okay,
Grandma and Dad are just going to go have a talk right now, all right?
Why can't I go home?
Everything was good when I was home!
I want to go home!
Okay.
A settlement conference is the last step before a trial
where you could lose your parental rights completely.
We are here today to prevent that from even being considered.
Let's begin with your current employment, Mr. Hughes.
Sam was promoted to a full-time position as executive assistant
to a VP at the music company where he works.
I have letters from his boss and HR about his performance,
which is, in their words, exemplary.
So then you'll stay with that job instead of going on tour?
What tour?
Yesterday, Sam got an offer to go on tour with a famous musician.
It's the kind of job he's wanted
since he met my daughter nine years ago.
Are you spying on me?
My lawyers are just doing their job.
I am not on tour, am I?
I'm here, taking responsibility for my son.
By giving up what you've always wanted again and again,
when you don't even need to.
Barry is safe.
He's happy and he's with people who love him.
He'll have every opportunity.
Shouldn't you take yours, Sam?
Will you be turning down that HBO series if you get to keep him?
Yeah,
I know about that too.
Or will Lourdes be raising him,
like she did Eleanor?
I will turn down that job if I get to keep Barry.
So it's okay for you not to get your dreams?
I've had mine.
You still have time.
Why do you think they will be mine
without him with me?
I can barely get up in the morning.
I know you can't either.
I just... I see her.
When I wake, when I go to sleep,
when I look at you.
I know you see her when you look at me.
I can't get my dreams again.
Not really.
I just want my kid.
He's the only dream that I have left.
None of this would be happening
if you had only accepted my offer to help.
What does it say to my son if I do?
That his father can't provide for him?
That you love him enough to do whatever you need for him.
And I can provide for Barry.
There are things you can't give him.
The world doesn't look at you the same way that it looks at him.
I know that you love him,
but there is a reality that you can't fix with money.
You mean I'm not black.
But you are someone that ignored their heritage for decades.
- Mr. Hughes... - Look, I'm sorry, but it's a reality.
You think it's okay for him to live next door to gang members
- to be close to his heritage. - That's not what I said.
Does Dante still live next door to you?
Yes, he does, but we have a plan...
We received an affidavit from Mr. Mendoza's parole supervisor
just prior to this meeting that states that he will be returning to prison
- to finish his sentence. - Wait.
Sam, what does that mean?
I'm sorry, can we...
Can we...
What happened?
It's done already?
- Did you know about Dante? - Know what?
- I'm picking him up at 5:00... - Annette, he's going back to prison.
- He's going to finish his term. - What?
What did you say to him?
I know you saw him this morning.
I said we would be fine when he comes home, all right?
We had a plan.
I did not ask him to do this.
Then where'd he get this idea from?
Sam!
You know, you're so busy trying to make sure he's good to you,
when were you planning on being good to him?
Annette.
- Annette. - Check Eleanor's room.
He was playing with the paints last week.
- Margot? - No, he's somewhere in the house.
Margot.
We're going to find him, okay?
He...
She was making a snack for him after the barber,
and he wasn't in his room, but I know he's...
Margot.
Mm-mm.
Sam, he ran away.
They need your date of birth and Social.
I will pay you back.
Oh, let's not do that particular dance.
Where were you trying to go?
I was just trying to take my lady away for the holidays.
She knows that you don't have the money to do that.
Well, I told her it was from points.
Too bad they weren't yours. Call tomorrow for your court date.
I am familiar with the process.
What kind of points were they?
AAA memberships,
days away from expiring.
- Not one of them would have noticed. - Somebody noticed?
Yeah, one of my trusted colleagues. God damn it.
Why is it always so far away for us?
It's not far away for me.
Oh, I'm not like you, Frank.
I didn't grow up thinking that I deserved everything.
Okay.
Come on, let's go.
Let's get you home.
Do me a favor. Don't...
tell her about this.
- I'll figure something out. - Which her are we talking about?
I don't want Nellie to know.
Not when she's this close to getting what she wants, okay?
What, grad school?
Grad school?
No, the job.
The job offer.
Oh.
What does "oh" mean, Frank?
Apparently, it's the sound I make. Can you drive me home?
To Polly's?
Okay, let's go.
Hey, what are you doing home?
- Hi. - Hi.
Research, sort of.
- Oh, my God. - Look.
- We haven't read these since you were six. - I know.
- Where'd you find them? - In the closet.
- God. - It's so wild,
'cause the drawings started out so open,
less literal than the later books, but I had no idea.
I was so young when I read them, I didn't know how beautiful they were.
- Aren't they beautiful? - These used to be your favorites.
- You drew her all the time. - Did I?
Mm-hm.
What's wrong?
I don't know.
I'm just sort of feeling like...
every time one thing clicks into place,
another piece just falls from the sky,
and I don't know where it goes, and I...
you know, I don't know how to do everything,
and I want to do everything.
Does this have to do with grad school?
Yeah, I mean, it's partially to do with that,
but I really don't think it's a bad idea to go anymore.
I completely understand why you wanted me to go.
It's just that when I think of my life in the next few years,
there's just so many...
different things that I want to do...
and I just don't know how I'm supposed to know which thing to pursue...
right now.
You know, your grandmother used to have this saying.
It's the only thing she ever said in Spanish to me.
It was...
"Hubo más tiempo que vida."
- Hubo más? - Mm-hm.
- That's not a thing. - I had the tense wrong?
Hay. Hay más.
Hay más, yeah.
It means,
"There's more time than life."
Time goes on, but life doesn't,
and I'm not going to be here someday and you won't be here someday,
so what is it you want in this moment?
Right.
What will fulfill you right now?
You know, I try to make my choices based on that,
but it's not always possible.
Yeah.
Does this have something to do with your book?
Mm.
The book is dead. Someone already did something similar.
- Oh, now, how is that even possible? - I know!
It was specific to only you.
I guess, in 2012,
"similar" means "the same".
I don't know.
Did you read it?
Well, I never got to tell you because you were so mad at me at the time.
But, yes, I did.
Mm-hm.
And it was beautiful.
And it felt, um...
significant.
That's the wrong tense.
It is significant.
It still exists.
What time is it?
Mm, it's almost 5:00, I think.
What are you doing all this for anyway?
Sam?
♪ Someday ♪
♪ We'll build a home on a hilltop high ♪
♪ You and I ♪
♪ Shiny and new ♪
♪ A cottage that two can fill ♪
♪ And we'll be pleased to be called ♪
♪ The folks who live on the hill ♪
♪ Someday ♪
♪ We may be adding a wing or two ♪
♪ A thing or two ♪
♪ We will make changes ♪
♪ As any family will ♪
♪ But we will always be called ♪
♪ The folks who live on the hill ♪
♪ Our veranda will command a view ♪
♪ Of meadows green ♪
♪ The kind of view ♪
♪ That seems to want to be seen ♪
- Where is he? - Backyard playhouse.
Thank you for calling us.
♪ And when the kids grow up and leave us ♪
Seven, eight, nine, ten.
♪ We'll sit and stare At that same old view ♪
♪ Just we two ♪
♪ Nellie and Sam ♪
♪ Who used to be Jack and Jill ♪
♪ The folks who like to be called ♪
♪ What they have always been called ♪
♪ The folks who live on the hill ♪
11, 12, 13,
14, 15, 16...
Bear...
how did you even get here?
I'm counting and it's not working.
I don't feel better.
I came home...
and I don't feel better.
I know.
No, you don't, you don't know.
Kiddo, I do.
Seven, eight,
- nine... - Nine,
ten...
11...
12...
Why are you counting with me?
Because my kid ran away.
And it was really scary.
And I was worried that he might be hurt.
And so I got upset.
- Grandma too. - Mm.
We got very upset,
and so maybe if we are all counting,
it'll help.
I came home, that's not running away.
But we don't live here anymore.
Mom still does.
You said Mom would always be here for us,
but I can't see her anymore.
I can't even remember how the pinkie lock works.
You know how she would hold my hand
and lock it with her pinkie?
Here.
Like this?
Come here.
I came home, I tried to remember...
But I can't.
I don't even remember how she sounds like anymore.
Why can't I remember?
Hey, buddy. Bear, Bear.
Look, you don't have to remember what she looks like
or what she sounds like to remember her.
You just... You have to remember how she makes you feel.
'Cause that doesn't go away, that just gets bigger.
Oh, my God! What are you doing?
Someday.
I know about the job offer.
I know, I was going to tell you.
Maybe.
Why would you ever turn that down?
Um, because it's across the country, it pays nothing,
we would spend Christmas apart,
I'm pregnant,
the art's not even in my name.
I mean look around you, honey. Look at us.
Look at what we're building.
- I don't want to miss any of that. - I'm not going anywhere.
And this is just a house.
It's going to be here, but that opportunity...
Yeah, but you have to make choices, you can't have everything.
No, you can't, but...
you still need enough.
All we need is enough.
Instead of watching our dreams die like our parents
because they tried for too much all at once,
how about we just... we try for just enough?
You know, we decide what is possible
and we go after it with everything we've got.
But I mean, different cities, different realities.
No, one reality.
We just take turns.
I dream a little, you wait.
I'm taking that conservatory job,
I'm going to save up, and we are going to get this house...
someday.
It'll just be a...
a dream for a while, you know?
A shared dream.
All we need to be happy is enough,
and, El, you and I...
we're enough.
They'll reconvene the settlement conference tomorrow.
Annette will stay with Barry in Joanna's office this time.
Okay.
Margot, we can't keep going on like this.
I know.
We just can't keep fighting to see which one of us is better...
when the reality is...
he needs us both.
What would that even look like?
Mm?
Both of us passing on opportunities,
sharing him, two schools, you hating what I could provide him,
and me hating what you can't?
I don't know.
Maybe we just stop thinking we have to choose.
Just work together until we figure it out?
I need your help.
I'm sorry it took me so long to say that.
And I need yours.
Because you can give him things that I can't,
and...
because I miss her so much.
Why don't you come with us to the house tonight?
We can work up a plan and bring it to DCFS in the morning,
and if my lawyers go for it, maybe...
maybe it's a start.
I used to think about how every song is a love song.
But not anymore.
Now I only think about why.
They are all love songs.
You press shuffle right now,
and any song that comes up will be about some kind of love,
but why is that?
Why are we all singing about love all of the time
in all its permutations?
Are we hopeless romantics?
Are we unimaginative?
Are we obsessed?
Or is it simply because no one sits down at the piano
or picks up their guitar to feel?
We do it because we can't stop feeling,
and we have to get it out the only way that we can.
Write your songs, man.
That feeling is inside all of us,
no matter if we're young or old or rich or poor.
We don't look the same,
we don't speak the same language,
we don't experience the same moment the same.
But we all love.
Every single one of us,
and we are loved.
It's not about how every song is a love song.
It's why.
Because without love,
what else is there sing about?
It's all that matters.
It is all there is.
Bye, buddy. Be good.
Thank you.
Have fun.
This is for you.
- Aha. - I don't need it anymore.
I have the craziest déjà vu right now.
Or maybe I'm just sad you're leaving.
I'll be back.
I got all March with this guy.
And I'll take good care of him till then.
So sing.
Sing from sadness, sing in joy, sing with faith,
but sing.
Open your mouth and let your song out.
I'll take this.
All right.
Bye, guys.
Bye.
Because each one of us has a soundtrack.
It is as idiosyncratic as our fingerprint.
It defines who we are,
and it tells the story of all we have loved...
and lost...
and hope to love again.
All right.
So, I mean, that is for sure thing,
- everyone having their own soundtrack. - Yeah.
So what is on yours?
Oh, I mean... I don't want to waste your time with mine.
Waste my time! It's what you're here for.
- How else will we get to know each other? - Okay.
- All right. - Play me something.
But you got to let me know
what every song means to you as you play it.
Okay.
Uh... where to begin?
Track one, man.
All right.
Does it have a name?
Yeah.
"Nellie and Sam".
Okay.
Play it.